Arrange Marriage? Who Me?

We listened to tons of stuff about arrange marriages. Lord chooses the right soul for us, made for each other, family Union, Parent’s choice, etc but honestly, I never believed in arranged marriages because I haven’t seen many happy couples who were into arranged marriages.

I was born to a neutral family. My parents did arrange marriage. I heard some small stories from my grandma about how my parents met. First, the families liked themselves and then my parents met and they liked each other in the same meeting strange isn’t it!. They must be happy during the early days but later they had issues. The first small issues are followed by the bigger issues, I was wondering why they got married. I agree on people who love each other fight occasionally not always. I have never seen mom and dad agree to one point. They are like a magnet “like poles, they repel” they were the same couple. I wonder how can you marry a person u just met and had some random talk with and then agreed on spending your entire life.

My best friend Anu and I decided to marry a person we know very well or love. Ages passed by and we never found The Guy in our lives. We came across several times but they were not as per the checklist. Yes, I had a checklist. Starting from good looks to habits. Whenever I meet a guy I use to match up with my checklist and the list was uncompromising. They use to be down by some of the points. My plan in life was to get a job at 21, married at 27, and become a mommy at 29. Most of my plans were put up in the right place but not the marriage part. I guess it was to be decided by God. I wanted to marry a known person who understands and supports me like a friend and we never get bored of each other.

Finally, I turned 30. I have a job in Chennai, good life far from my hometown, but no marriage and no baby. In India, girls get married by 22 or 23. My parents started forcing me since I turned 25 but I warned them not to disturb me until I get the man of my dreams. My parents were alarmed by my relatives, they were warned about the unmarried girls who were equal or more than my age. They started pressuring me (emotionally) and made me agree to see some proposals.

These years I and Anu my best friend were still in touch and we were both in the same boat. Almost all of my friends and colleagues were married but I was relaxed about us because we were there for each other. One day Anu called me and informed me that she is getting engaged. Honestly, I was shocked. She was doing arrange marriage and the same one-time talk with a lifetime commitment. I wonder how she fell into this trap. I started inspection about the guy with Anu. After a long conversation, she told me “I met my soulmate” I said seriously.

Anu was very excited about this guy and they use to chat and had whole night conversations. I was sure Anu will regret it after some days of her marriage. On the other hand, my Dad was torturing me by showing some random guys and I never liked them. Dad asked to meet a family, he was very much confident about the guy and he liked the family too. After multiple calls and reminders, I agree to meet the family.

It was August 22, Sunday morning, I saw my parents were discussing something together. I never saw them agreeing on something together. Sweets and snacks were prepared, juices were getting served and the moment came when the family arrived. I was in the kitchen with my mother. She was arranging the snacks on dishes and asked me to take them. I never did that and I was scared of getting a slip-on floor. I denied it but finally, she got me to do it. I took the snacks plates and placed them on the table. I can hear and bit of chit chat but I didn’t peep at them ( instructions from my parents) and I didn’t get to see the guy. Later, they asked me to go out with him for some conversation. My mom suggested showing him the terrace garden. That was the first glace I had of him. He was good-looking, tall, good posture, and the moment he smiled at me, he nailed it. He has a killer smile.

Ved, a software guy working in an MNC, is well behaved, generous, etc. While he was speaking I was checking my list. After his side of introduction, I introduced myself too. We had random talks about our job, family, friends, likes, and dislikes, etc. We were totally into our conversations, I wanted to know him more. We had lots of things in common. We loved movies and traveling, etc. Before we end the conversation he asked me the final question “what is the most important thing you expect in married couples?” I replied, ” If there a conversation between the two of them and one is extremely angry then the other one should be quiet or else it will turn out to be a fight”. He smiled at me shake his hand and said we will meet soon. I smiled.

After he left I noticed during our conversation I missed checking on my checklist. I was so much into him that I skipped the checklist. My parents liked the guy and the final decision was from my side and his. After that meeting, I started thinking about him most of the time. I shared these things with Anu, she got existed and said he is the One. I am not sure whether he is the One but he was something special. I was asked the final decision by my parents and It was a Yes from my side. I was shocked at myself how I turned into an arranged marriage.

After a couple of days, my dad called and informed me that they are ready to go further and our marriage dates were set. On February 15, our names were on the cards SULATA WEDS VED. Our life started fresh as lime, knowing each other, we tried to work on our flaws, and finally, we were in Love. No checklist works when meeting your life partner.

There is nothing like Arrange or Love marriages. It is all about people how they fit into each other’s shoes and never stop loving. They laugh, cry, enjoy, fight, and lots of love. We are together for three years happily married, we do fight but we do love each other more than anything.