Yesterday, I said that I was trying to adapt to the changes but trust me I was unable to do so.
This morning I woke up late, then I had a cup of green tea and lemon juice. Ved asked me to have breakfast which was a bowl of mixed fruits. Being an Indian I never had fruits in breakfast. We use to have dosa, idli, upma, poha, etc. There was lots of kiwi in the bowl with oranges.
I am not a big fan of kiwi but though it is rich in vitamin C I need to eat them. Including kiwi, we can add guava but this is not the right season for guava. We can also add mangoes. In lunch, there was a small bowl of semi-brown rice, mixed dal, and mashed potatoes. Even potatoes are rich in vitamin C.
I was feeling very tired after lunch. I was unable to sleep too. You will have a killer mood swing that will even make u sensitive, emotional, and at that moment no one is beside you. I am feeling depressed and lonely. I am struggling not to be like that but can’t help though. I shouted at Ved for a silly reason. I know this situation is killing both of us from inside but I can’t help. I feel weak and helpless inside my mind. I know sometimes I ask more from Ved but instead of my mistake, I wasn’t able to say Sorry. I just left the conversation there. He was upset and angry too. The whole day we didn’t speak at all.
I was not interested to talk to someone neither be silent. I wasn’t sure what I want to do or what I can do in a closed room. I am just counting my days to reach day 14 and I will be out of this room.
Evening, I was sitting in front of the window getting the cool breeze on me and was listening to music. This time music wasn’t healing me I was getting more depressed and lonely though. Later, the night I decided to watch an animation movie. The movie’s name was “UP”. This movie was very stimulating. Once the movie was done I had my meds a glass of milk and was waiting for Ved to ping me. Soon after, I received a message it was a simple good night no love or kiss with it. This made me more depressed and I just slept.
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